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By Jeremy | October 3, 2005
I had one of “those†conversations with Bob today, a talk I needed to have.
Bob’s a family friend. Not an acquaintenance, but a bona fide friend; the kind you go through stuff with, good stuff and bad stuff.
It seems recently that Bob’s gone through more bad than good. Lots of bad. Real bad. I can’t remember exactly when it started for him. Seems to me he’s had a mixed bag for most of the 20 or so years that I’ve known him. But things turned precipitously south just after 9/11.
Bob’s a union carpenter/metal worker from New Jersey, so when the WTC collapsed, he was on one of the first boats ferrying rescue workers across the Hudson River. Over the next couple of days, he was among the initial volunteers cutting through the wreckage on Ground Zero’s infamous Pile. When his shifts would end, he would walk to the staging area at the other side of the Pile and volunteer for another shift, meaning he worked for days on end digging through the worst of the rubble.
Months later, Bob’s wife left him after 15 years or so of marriage. The seperation got ugly real quick, with harsh accusations flying both ways and estrangement from Bob’s teenage daughter following.
Around the same time, Bob suffered a debilitating jobsite accident, falling 35 feet, crushing his ribs, breaking arms and legs, and nearly dying of internal injuries. He survived only to break his foot during another jobsite accident a year or so later. Adding insult to injury, he endured a head-on collision in his car, and a motorcycle accident that left him unconscious for several days within the last two years. He also was mandated to a 90-day rehabilitation program, and just this past Friday cut his left index finger off at its base at work. It could not be reattached.
Bob was the last person I expected to see at the office today. But God sent him to minister to me.
I’ve had many conversations with Bob over the past four years about his hardships, including when I helped him move, at Judah’s birthday, and most recently at
Mei-Ling’s graduation party. Bob’s accutely self-aware, and has berated himself for those difficulties that were self-inflicted and those which were not. He’s incredibly honest, and has not hesitated to share exactly what he’s feeling at any given moment, good or bad.
Which is why I know that today was no act. Bob was being transparent, honest Bob, sharing from his heart why he wouldn’t trade any of the pain he’s endured in the last four years. He attributes the suffering, all of it, to God’s way of surfacing the junk in him that’s had to be purged. And he knows that the Bob who sat with me for two hours this afternoon is not the same Bob I knew four years ago, or even four months ago.
It’s taken time, a long painful time, for Bob to embrace who God has called him to be. But he told me today that he’s finally getting it, and the sincerity in his eyes and conviction in his voice told me he means it. Bob’s no actor. He was being as real as people come.
I need the serenity and sheer joy Bob shared with me today. Part of me (a BIG part of me) hopes never to have to travel Bob’s road to get it. But another part of me respects that Bob is living the mandate to “consider it all joy … when [we] face trials of many kinds†(
James 1:2), and reaping the promise of
Romans 5:3-5:
“Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.â€Â
Bob’s is no cliche Christianity. He’s the real deal.
p.s. When I asked Bob for permission to write this, he said, “Just keep it honest.â€Â
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